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Happy New Year
Thanks Andy. Very helpful. This reminds me of the presuppositions statements in NLP: E.g. ‘He was always beating his son’. When he beats someone in a game it means he was better than the other person in that game, so ‘beat my ‘self’ …… up’ does seem positive for ‘I’ in the context of a game in that ‘I’ can do better than ‘self’. But perhaps ‘self’ hasn’t grown ‘up’ enough or is not aligned enough yet to meet the expectations of ‘I’. By continuing to beat self (as in game) – will this send a message to self to do better ?????
Interesting, I hadn’t considered ‘beating’ as form of competition. We’d need to know more details of the metaphor via elicitation to know which one is was. I still suspect it is metaphorical violence rather than competition (though much competition is metaphorical violence, i.e. boxing, wrestling, football/rugby as mock combat, etc), but the “beating my self UP” suggests metaphorical violence in the vernacular, whereas if the speaker had said, “I beat my self” then the ambiguity would be greater.
Many thanks Andy. A lot to digest here. Also when asking…and how does that make you/I/self feel… there is the potential to work on the feelings via a memory of the first time that they can remember feeling this way when metaphorically being themselves up. Would that be something to pursue first prior to working on the I that beats and the self that is beaten. I like the reference to active and passive and “I” being outside of conscious awareness. Also the status element is definitely there of self being beaten “up” to come up to “I’s” standards/level of behaviour. The potential is there for working on the metaphor of the beating, would you ever pursue that aspect?
In addition to the meta-kinaesthetics, we could also examine concurrent kinaesthetics, such as, “When I is beating self, how does I feel?” and then track that kinaesthetic back using the Kinaesthetic Pattern. We could also examine, “just before being beaten, as self is expressing I, how does self feel?” but to be honest, this might be a little too complex to do on a one-to-one, and best reserved for a suitable esoterically minded person who is able to persist in self examination and delve into the more subtle areas of their being.
Regaridng the metaphor aspect, tricky one. My experience of such recursive behaviours (self sabotage, self critical, self abuse, self harm, self hatred etc) is that these can be very tricky to get a workable metaphor. It’s easier to chunk it back up and expand the frame of reference to, “So, your whole life, your entire existance as someone who beats themslves up, what is that like?” rather than asking what the beating self up is like.
Thanks Andy. I’m pretty new to IEMT and the thing I struggle with the most is the ID work. I find it difficult to explain this part to the client, although most of the time things do change for them in a positive way. I watch your videos and listened to the recent webinar audio, I am understanding it a little more. So if I have a statement similar to the above I would disect this into two parts and deal with the I and the self separately? I would ask the questions (Where is, how old is, etc) then do the appropriate eye movements and ask again? In the training we were taught to go through all of the I, me, self, you. In this case would I still do that or just concentrate on the statement? Thank you for your help
Thanks Kay – this is a bit of a long answer, so I’ll save this for the next video, if that is ok.
Thats fine, Ive actually just watched your video on here with the depressed lady and that helped quite a lot. I think I need to start dropping the quite structured way I do the sessions, as taught in training, and use the client’s words as I go along.
Thank you for the video. It was very helpful as always. Now I have another way to see this type of statement. I have been looking at this type of statement to work with as an anger pattern especially since you referenced that what we say to our self can often come from what we heard as children either directly or indirectly.
So then is it really “I” doing the beating? or is it “who are you becoming” when you do the beating on self? and “when is the first time you can remember someone else beating up someone like that?”
I had a client who said “I’m so critical of myself ” and we talked about how he learned to be like that. He said his mother didn’t criticize him but criticized everyone else all the time. So his critical words to his self matched hers. I followed the anger pattern and he made a big shift.
Happy New Year!